so instead of reading a bunch of books right now, i am asking for all your input/advice on changes, difficulties, and ways to make having 2 kids ‘easier’. i have already heard a few ideas (buy a gift “from the baby” for the first child; trying to read to the older one while the baby naps), but i was wondering if there are more things that you’d advise on doing or not doing as our big day of change approaches. i will probably tackle some books later, so if there are ones you recommend feel free to let me know.
mahalo and wish us luck!
alicia and rick 
7 comments
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October 3, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Elise
Hi, Alicia! Yes, I am blog stocking you from Theresa’s site! I just wanted to see if baby had made an appearance yet! I’m thinking of you.
So, advice: our doctor-to-the-stars pediatrician in New York said that when you take the baby home, act like it’s a sack of potatoes. By that, he meant that you should try not to make too big of a deal about the baby–just act like it’s anything else that you would have picked up from the grocery store. The temptation is to be like, “Look at the new baby! Do you love her? Kiss the baby!” But if the older sibling sees that he gets a reaction out of you by playing with the baby then he’ll use that knowledge for good–and evil. My pediatrician said to just stick to the usual routines and not act like the baby was changing everything (even though, of course, she was). We tried to follow his advice and we we didn’t ever have any big problems. Now that could be that the advice was awesome… or Dallin is awesome… or a little bit of both.
Good luck!
October 4, 2009 at 2:19 am
michelle
my advice is take it easy on yourself and pray a lot for peace of mind (that prayer will be answered time and time again)! it’s hard to often feel like a good mom with multiple small young ones. there are many times when one or the other child will be crying or whining or feeling left out. so don’t make it harder by beating yourself up. give yourself a break. there are beautiful moments of course, so truly enjoy them by feeling strongly at your core that you are *meant* to this and that all the good guys and gals are cheering for you–not “perfectly” in the world’s sense of that word but “wholly” and “fully” as it is your role and one that you can accomplish.
too dramatic?
a practical tip: going to the beach with two babes is ridiculous! but it’s a little easier if you have a pre-packed beach bag that is always ready to go.
October 4, 2009 at 2:59 am
katie
I think it was a bit easier for us as Maya was nearly 4 years old and had a better understanding of what was happening. One thing I learned, though, was that sometimes Maya had to come first. It’s easy to always put the baby first, but sometimes you have to tell the baby (even when she’s crying), “Just a minute, Zoe, let me help Maya with this first,” or “it’s Maya’s turn now.” or something like that. (within reason!) Of course the baby doesn’t know what you’re saying, but I think it help the older child to not feel so displaced and shoved to the side. KWIM? It helps them feel like they’re still valued and that they won’t always come second to the baby.
October 5, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Hua
Well, I won’t be able to give you any advice on this~~but I do wish you luck …can’t wait to see your baby girl ~~~woolooloo ~~~
October 5, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Amy Lefler
My tip is to prepare a nursing bag. This is a bag of fun things for Kai. Something that he can only play with when you are nursing baby. I also tried to involve Jorie in as much as possible, to let her “help” me take care of Audrey. She was also very motherly which may have been why it worked for us.
Another tip: I bought a few little toys to wrap for Jorie so that when a visitor came to give baby a gift I had one for Jorie as well. She thought it was great to get “new Big sister” presents.
I also tried to make a point to over-do-it with compliments and love and wows. Sometimes it is overwhelming to be told how big you are by everyone, just nice to hear how awesome you are aside from being a big kid.
My pediatrician told me that every toddler will regress. That could be anything like speech, toilet training, throwing fits, you name it. Be prepared for it and try to not make a big deal of it. Mostly I tried to ignore these things, and find something they are good at.
The last thing I can think of is to make part of your routine with baby focus on Kai. Baby can watch Kai do a trick every day or do something that Kai can do but not Baby. Later on Baby can do special things to impress Kai too.
You are going to be great. You have an amazing ability to prepare for things and think through things as they are happening. Recognize your skills and talk to Rick about all the great things you did each day. There will be plenty of oopsies and wish I hadn’ts just highlight the good things, no matter how small. Taking a shower when you have two little ones is a great accomplishment!
No matter what situation you find yourself in remember not only that it could be better but it could be worse. remember a good sense of humor is a great tool.
My Pediatrician also emphasized taking “me” time every day. Go for a walk, or drive. Take a bath. Go somewhere alone. Whatever suits you.
You are so amazing Alicia. I believe in you as do so many others.
Love,
Amy
p.s. another beach tip; baby powder is wonderful for getting sand off of skin.
October 11, 2009 at 7:31 am
Julie
hi alicia,
grant is 21 months & piper is now 6 weeks old. day 1, grant tried to poke piper’s eye… so we waited until i got home from the hospital (day 1 was also filled with grant staying with the neighbors, interupted sleep schedule, grandparents in town, etc.) day 3, piper & i came home, grant gave piper a hug, but was pretty disinterested in his baby sister beyond that.
we got presents for him “from his sister” and he was fine with that. we basically talked to him, like he would understand – “this is your baby sister, piper!”, “you are her big brother”, “please be gentle, soft, she’s a baby.” followed by gentle reminders and examples of how he could touch the baby (no eye poking, no sticking his hands in her face/mouth – yes pet her hair gentle, yes play with her feet, look – there’s her belly button, etc.)
the rest is keeping everything else as normal as you can – let kai have his one-on-one time with you & rick. take deep breaths and enjoy this amazing time in your lives.
enjoy & hope you have an easy & fast labor!
~cousin julie
November 25, 2009 at 8:00 am
uncle jonathan
i think the best thing to do is send kai to uncle jonathan and then whatever happens happens. problem solved.